Thursday, 12 April 2012

Damn Emotions!

OK - maybe if I admit it first then it won't seem like I belong in a locked ward somewhere! I have been known to be a bit over sensitive and over emotional at times. In my defence, I am only these things over issues that matter to me, and are close to my heart. And quite honestly, I don't know how to NOT be these things.

Take today, for example. In a management meeting at work, discussing my department, when horror of all horrors, I feel the build up of irrational tears starting to form. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't under attack or under fire, the issue being discussed was merely one I felt extremely strongly about. SO there went my credibility and tough management exterior as the tears that threatened, made their appearance in full force. This is a problem!

How do I, a blond, short, late-30-something-year-old woman, get taken seriously in the workplace when I am not able to control my own emotions? Does it make me less of an effective manager when I lose composure? Should I try harder to toughen up and present a more guarded, amour-encased persona? I'm sure the answer to this is HELL YES!

But I have my reservations. This is who I am. And this is part of what makes me good at what I do. I am able to show empathy and compassion when required, and am able to emotionally identify and reach out to staff and clients should the situation call for it.

I suppose what I am saying is, this is me. Take me for who I am. Like it or lump it. If my emotions make me weak in the eyes of some, it shouldn't matter. I can't change who I am, I won't change who I am. I need to accept my fallibility, and perhaps start seeing it as a strength. My emotions ARE my strength.

I'm Just Saying...

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