Women's Day

"Well behaved women seldom make history" Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. 

In my (humble) opinion, never have truer words been uttered. 

Yesterday was International Women's Day (in South Africa it's only in August, but I believe we are well worth the double high-five-recognition!). Contrary to what I believe Women's Day should be - i.e. a day of recognition and acknowledgement to all women who everyday make sacrifices for their families and others - it is actually a day that slips by quietly, with the little acknowledgement there is being give by other women. What's up with that?? The glaringly obvious statement it makes to me is - thank goodness for a strong network of women who lift up, support, encourage and motivate each other!

I was privileged enough to attend a KZN Women in Business meeting on Thursday and to hear Helen Davis - an amazing author from Florida, USA - talk about, amongst other things, her success as a woman in business. She attributed her survival and business successes in the  early part of her career, to the strength, support and networking with other women. And looking around the room, and listening to everyone stand up, introduce their business, and as an extra impromptu, describe what changes they would make in themselves or their businesses, there was no doubt that I was in excellent company! What was equally undeniable, was that those who were most successful were the women not scared to take a chance, to go against tradition, against societal norms, against what "good girls"would do, and to "misbehave"in the once predominantly man's-world. (One of Helen's pieces advice for women in business - STOP SHOPPING and become more fiscally responsible! I took note.)

Hats off to all those out there who go against the grain in order to make history! From women who have left the comfort of a steady, guaranteed income of a career in making someone else's dreams come true, to those women who have put their own dreams aside for that very same steady income (yes, as a woman, I am allowed to be contrary!!). From all those battling the daily guilt of being a working mom, to those battling the daily guilt of being a stay-at-home mom. From women standing up for what they firmly believe in because the cause is greater than the consequence, to those women for whom the consequences outweigh the principle of the cause. Hats off to all women who compete not only against patriarchy, but against other women too - while at the same time maintaining their compassion, empathy and respect for all.

Please don't get me wrong. This blog is not meant as a diatribe against men, but rather a shout out to all women who forget their value and worth. I am fortunate to have a husband who celebrates my successes with me, and encourages and supports me as much as I need. But there are many, many many women out there who are not so fortunate. International Women's Day should not be a passive "You-go-girl-high-five", but a real acknowledgement of how bloody amazing we as women are! In South Africa, we have another chance in August to get this right - so watch this space!!!

To all those awesome women in my life - my mom, mom-in-laws, sister, sister-in-law, cousins, and my special, amazing circle of girlfriends - always remember to support each other, to give credit where credit is due, to lift each other up when needed, to sing each others praises when ever we can (lets be honest - we have pretty loud voices when we try!) and never forget you are FANBLOODYTASTIC!!! I'm Just Saying...

Because Facebook Said So

Confessionals are passe. Dear Diary doesn't exist. For your eyes / ears only never happens any more. Dinner for two unannounced is an oddity, a visit to the gym is no longer between you and your sweat pants... our lives are literally open books!

Facebook and Twitter are viral. I know that is not exactly hot-off-the-press news, but exactly how viral they are has been on my mind a lot lately. I honestly know exactly one friend in my circle of girlfriends, who is not on facebook. This said friend has also only recently upgraded to a Blackberry, so for her, the constant status updates on BBM are enough to contend with (her words!)!! From parents and grandparents, to my 10 year old godson; from charity groups, business pages, community updates, to both my kids schools; from your best friend when you were three, to the new friend you just met at work,  facebook does not discriminate. If you want information, gossip, updates, the weather report - or want to know what your neighbour had for breakfast (!), facebook news feed is your one stop shop!To be clear, I'm not running it down - I am as attached to facebook as the next guy. Aside from the obvious social (and voyeuristic!) reasons, I appreciate its value and reach from a general marketing perspective as well. Where would we be without that little blue, um, "F"!!

My thought processes regarding the virility of facebook, has been moving along the lines of can too much information at our fingertips, shoved in our faces, begging for commentary and further spreading (I mean sharing!), be dangerous?? In so many ways, I think it is not only dangerous, but extremely potentially harmful!! But like with anything, it all depends on how you use it, and how responsible you are. (On that note - I just heard that those ridiculously expensive little "buckyballs" (tiny, powerful magnetic balls designed to attract as many kids to their short-term spot of flavor-of-the-week, despite the hefty price tag, as possible!!) have been banned in the US due to their lethal consequence if swallowed. I'm Just Saying... use and responsibility... its simple!!)

And then there's the question of facebook friends - quantity over quality? In terms of numbers, is more seriously better? Do we quality control enough? I'm sure everyone is in the same boat. You know, that person / family member / work mate / old nursery school friend / nosey neighbour across the road, who, no matter how long you avoided that Friend Request notification, guilted you into accepting? The very same one who now facebook-stalks you - comments on your every move, every picture, every status update, every check in, and every new friend accepted to your page (and comments border-line-inappropriately, or inboxes you with not-so-borderline-inappropriate judgements!!). Like you didn't see that coming!!And yet here we are, 527 friends later. Open books. Shew!

Pinterest had a divine post recently (I forgot to PIN it, so I'm a bit hazy on the details). Something along the lines of most people's relationships would survive longer, if facebook didn't exist. I recall them referring to the constant interfering, questioning, judging made by facebook "friends", more than the not-so-unheard-of leaving your partner for that recently surfaced first love from pre-school days! I would go so far as to say that this goes for friendships as well. I would guess that many friendships have been derailed by facebook revelations, divulges, dodgy check-ins and cringe-worthy tagged pictures!! Timelines are inarguably filled with an enormous amount of detrimental over-sharing.

With regard to safety, crime, and community incidents, my husband and I recently had a conversation about reality versus perception. At the moment there seems to be this massive influx of crime in and around our area. Facebook and Twitter have been reading like a CSI role call - absolutely flooded by reports, warnings, stories and updates on attempted assaults, break-ins, hijackings etc etc.  My initial reaction was naturally "Well there goes the neighbourhood! Lock your doors, don't go out after dark, live in fear!" But on contemplation, has the level of crime really increased so dramatically, or is this only our perception because of how much more aware we are being made of it? I'm not denying the crime is there, has always been there, but I'm Just Saying maybe facebook and twitter doing live reporting on every incident, has exacerbated our reactions to the bigger picture.

Overly emotive - in fact, passive-aggressive attention seeking, vague Facebook updating; Tweeting in the moment; blanket CC'ing of emails; overly informative BBM status's; harsh / judgemental commentary and generalisations under the pseudo-comfort-blanket of relative anonymity; - much like drunk-dialling / texting, more often than not bites you in the @ss. Think twice, post once. I am seriously admitting (again!) to a bit of pottle (pot calling the kettle black), as I can plead guilty to a number of my hastily written updates falling victim to my quick posting finger. But in the future, I am going to attempt a self-imposed censorship of  any post-before-you-think updates. And am going to attempt a bigger picture view of whats on offer on my news feeds and timelines. Just because Facebook said so, doesn't make it Gospel. I'm Just Saying...

Stop Mucking Around the Fountain!

I had a terrible night last night. Insomnia and horrendous nightmares. Heart-palpitating-drenched in sweat-angry at the world, nightmares. Needless to say, this morning I felt like I had slept with Gandhi's flip-flop in my mouth (thanks Jacks for that image!!), and was ready to take on any one who dared to irritate me in the slightest - including my innocent blue-eyed boy who needed the grip on his cricket bat changed before school today. I DARE you to find a more frustrating, patience-testing activity!! Thanks to lots of coffee and YouTube, I resumed my place as Cleverest-Mom-Ever just as the lift club arrived! But I digress...

You know that feeling when there is no doubt in your mind that if there was ever a day you would follow through on some heinous "I will not hesitate to kill you if you look at me sideways" threat, that today was that day? That no amount of sweet talking, chocolate eating, wine consuming, random act of kindness would change your murderous mood? And then out the blue, you get an unexpected call from a friend, and BAM! Attitude adjusted! Thanks Ian Shaw, for phoning me to poke the bear this morning, and in educating me (and I use that term very loosely where this particular friend of mine is concerned!), on his quirky philosophy of the similarity between a goldfish and a goat*, gave me the kick in the rear I needed to jump start this Monday! (That's not to say that I won't be feeling disgustingly venomous by 4pm today, however!!). 

SO here it is. Happy 2013 - my inaugural post for the new year!

I can't believe its been so long since I sat down to write! This fact is just testament to the absolute mania (and holiday bliss!), that has been my life since December. We are now well into January, and life seems to be settling into it's usual routine normalcy. Well, as normal as life with two hectically active, prepubescent (I kid you not!), 9 year olds can be! As exhausting and patience-testing as it is, however, I wouldn't change it for anything!

 

The start of a new year always has us thinking along the lines of New Years' Resolutions (NYR), and new starts, and clean pages (or new books - depending on just how bad the previous year had been for you!!). For me New Years Resolutions have never worked. In fact, they are guaranteed to set me up for disappointment and feelings of self loathing. In my mind, if I have fallen off that NYR waggon once by mid January (which inevitably I would have!), that's it for me. Instant failure!! So this year I have decided its all about making attitude changes, lifestyle changes, and habit changes. Resolving to run four times a week or else, has changed into resurrecting my running, and making it part of my life and daily routine. Resolving to stop eating chocolates forever has changed into making healthier diet choices, and grocery choices for my whole family. I would like to be more open to new opportunities, and less concerned by the small mindedness of others. I would like to focus more on the bigger picture, and sweat the small stuff less. I would like to embrace that popular adage Live, Love, Laugh, and be more grateful for my many blessings. So in a nutshell, no resolutions, just lots of positive life changes.

 

This year we are working towards goals. My poor kids have been forced to set goals by their cruel mother (in my son's words!), for their academics and sport. Both have set themselves achievable, and aspirational goals, which made me very proud! Lets see if this lasts as they get swallowed up by the mania of the school year!

 

They are destined for great things, these two gorgeous kids of mine. Their tenacity, their gumption, their lack of fear when presented with new challenges and adventures, is remarkable. Their open minds, their thirst for knowledge, their ability to adapt and be malleable puts me to shame! They have truly inspired me to change MY attitude this year. I am going to grab that bull by its proverbials, not take no for an answer, and jump into 2013 with both feet! No more mucking around that fountain!! So watch this space...I'm Just Saying...

 

*Life according to Ian... its a spoonerism. Goldfish tend to waste time mucking around the fountain, while goats tend to waste time.... No more being goldfish OR goats!! I'm Just Saying... ;)

The Last Big Push

School is almost over for the year. Two more weeks of waking up at sparrows, dragging the kids out of bed, fighting over who wants what for breakfast, fighting for breakfast to get eaten at a pace more suitable to a human than a snail, lunches to be made (not peanut butter sarmies AGAIN!!), fighting to get teeth brushed, uniforms on, hair brushed, etc etc ETC! Two weeks left of homework (lets face it, I'm as over my kids homework as they are at this point!), of extra mural activities, of the ballet run, cricket matches all the way down the hill on a Friday afternoon, of early morning traffic jams, of lunchtime traffic jams, of spending more time IN the car than actually WITH my kids. Two more weeks and its December, school holidays, sunshine, and CHRISTMAS! 

These last two weeks are already jam packed. No time to ease into the festive season! With swimming gala's, Carol Services, Market Days, Speech Days, Parents information evenings, parents end of year get-together's,  there is literally no room to breathe before now and the end. And the end this time signals the end of Junior Primary for my kids. Next year is Senior Primary - and they are back to being those proverbial little fishes in the huge pond of Big School. Life changes for them (and me) next year. I have this impending sense that it all gets more serious from here on. Big subjects are introduced at school - history, biology, science and technology, as well as the usual maths, English, Afrikaans and Zulu (I see exciting homework sessions in my future!).  Tests and assessments become more formal, and exams loom in the not too distant future. Its a lot to take in for a parent. I think I am more apprehensive than my kids!

One of the biggest changes next year (again, more frightening (read: shattering!) for us parents than for our kids), is the introduction of i pads at my son's school for Grade 4's. Each child has to have his own before the school term next year. There has been much back-and-forthing between the school and the parents, but the bottom line is - it's happening. Gulp!! The school will be going above and beyond to provide as safe and secure an environment for the introduction of this new, expensive piece of school stationary as possible, but I am still seriously dubious as to how I can expect my son not to lose / drop / misplace / stand on / damage / abuse his i pad, when I am overjoyed just to see him returning from school with TWO school shoes (with two laces - I have no idea how, but he seems to manage to lose one lace out of his school shoes at least every second week!) and a full PE kit!! I see inflated insurance costs in my future!!

Homework next year poses more challenges for us parents once again, than for our little darlings. Brushing up on maths, science and history will be child's play compared to making sure we are all as technologically up to speed as our kids! At this stage, they are already far superior with our phones and computers and i pads than we are. Now we give them their own, plus dedicated lesson time with them at school.... another cause for eye-rolling kids at mom (and dad's!) ineptness!! But just as calculators and computer lessons at school during our day was frightening for our parents, it was inevitable. We  are going to have to up the bond to buy them for our kids, and embrace this technological teaching aid. Gulp!!

Before we even get there, though, this time of year is always a sad time for saying goodbye to those who have made such a difference in our kids lives on the school front. It is even more poignant this year for us, leaving Junior Primary behind. My kids have both been blessed with outstanding Heads of Primary, ladies who have really taken the time to get to know all the kids under their care, and to use their positions to motivate and inspire. They have both enthused a culture of genuine caring and love, not only for traditional learning, but also igniting in our kids a passion for the environment, and their responsibility thereof. Both Mrs Lane (Highbury) and Mrs Cuthbertson (St. Marys) have been wonderful role models for my kids. Saying thank you and goodbye will be hard. Again, both my kids have been fortunate enough to have had outstanding class teachers - from Grade R right through to Grade 3. Each one being so different, yet all leaving my kids with their own unique take on life and the world. Being a teacher must be the most challenging, rewarding, frustrating career for any one to chose. Having friends in this profession (Ashleigh, Terryn - two of the most amazing teachers I know), I have seen how much a teacher has to give of herself in order to have successful pupils. SO I am grateful to those my kids have been fortunate enough to have been taught by during the foundation phase of their lives.

Its almost time to turn off the morning alarm, haul out the advent calendar, start my Christmas shopping and holiday preparations.  Almost. Its almost time to buy the tree from the Christmas Tree Farm in Gillits (one of my favorite family traditions!), to book tickets to the Beauty and the Beast Pantomime, to find my Carol playlists on my ipod, and to embrace the end of the year. Almost. Before we run out of steam, however, we have to take a deep breath and not lose focus. It's the Last Big Push... I'm Just Saying...

Glimmer of Hope

Hurricane Sandy has certainly lived up to its Super Storm status way over in the US. Images of sharks in back yards and half peeled buildings have really shown us the true force of a pissed off Mother Nature! Thoughts and prayers go out to all affected by the devastation left in its wake. 

Not to be ignored, however, and closer to home, Hurricane Sandile, (Thanks Twitter for the dubbing of this one!), the absolutely bipolar weather being experienced in Durban right now, attempts to wreck havoc on a more local scale. Four seasons in one HOUR, at the moment!!! This is not what we are used to, here on the coast. This is supposed to be summer. I know this because even though the sky is dark and miserable, and the heavens open every ten minutes or so to spew out icy rain, hail, and the odd crack of thunder and lightening bolt, and EVERY social network news feed is littered with the moans and whines and laments of wet and miserable people complaining about the weather, Boney M is playing in the shops.  This is my glimmer of hope.

Boney M in the shops can and does mean only one thing... Christmas is around the corner!! I am a total pain in the rear end to everyone around me (particularly my long suffering husband!), at this time of year. I love Christmas, and everything it stands for, everything it means - from the Birth of Jesus, to the coming together of family and friends, and the celebration of traditions. I adore Christmas carols. Every year Warren hides my Boney M CD, and every year I buy a new one. Boney M was always the LP of choice playing whenever we decorated the Christmas tree for as far back as I can remember. Thanks mom for this one! Its a tradition I force on my kids and anyone within a listening radius! Luckily for me both my kids love carols, and luckily for me and everyone around me, my kids can actually carry a tune (unlike me!).  So as soon as it is not completely ludicrous to do so, I will haul out all the carol CD's, and slowly start irritating Warren with my insistence on playing them.

I can't wait to start decorating my new house for Christmas. I now have banisters and a proper mantle over my fireplace! It sounds silly, but I get ridiculously excited at the thought of reams of holly trailing down my stairs, and a gorgeous fireplace framed in Christmas bling! The Advent calendar (very important to my kids!); Christmas crafts; Christmas shows; Carols by Candlelight; Carols with Dolphins (Ushaka - a show not to be missed!); Christmas Panto's; Carols at my kids schools; Christmas baking (hauling out my Gran's old recipes which  have been the foundation of the tradition of Christmas baking in my house); Christmas shopping and gift wrapping; Christmas Eve and Day planning; long, hot weekends spent with family and friends around the pool; holiday planning and embarking on - I am an absolute SUCKER for this time of year!!

This year, more so than any other year, I have expectations. Expectations which I hope are not unrealistic or lead to crushing disappointment. I am looking forward to this time of year not just for all the tangible reasons, but for over riding personal, emotional reasons. It has not been a good year for my relationship with my sister. Things have not been great and our close relationship, one we had finally cemented after years of strife, came under assault in the middle of the year, for reasons too arduous to delve into now. She has since given birth to twin boys (her second set), and the arrival of these two little angels has encouraged us to slowly come together again. I am looking forward to this wonderful time of year to help the healing and to give us plenty of opportunities to start again. I am counting on the magic of the season to over ride past hurts.

My kids are at that in between believing stage of their lives right now. They are too skeptical to believe in Santa Clause (an unfortunate sign of our times - kids growing up far too quickly :(, and losing their unquestioning belief in magic), yet are too wise to admit to me that they know he isn't real. They are, however, old enough to understand the true meaning of Christmas. Charity, toy donations, Santa's Shoes Boxes - they participate in them all (one, unfortunately, more willing than the other;)). They are at the perfect age where the penny has dropped, and they are able to see the bigger picture. This year will be extra special in this regard. I honestly believe if we don't nurture and encourage this philanthropic side in our children when they are young, we stand no chance in the long term.  Although it is a year round endevour, some how at Christmas it just seems more poignant. A glimmer of hope for the future.

Enough of this miserable bone chilling, wet and windy weather! The sliver of blue that peeks out every now and again is my glimmer of hope that things will improve. The weather, the season, life, love and everything in between! If we harness this hope, focus on it, instead of lamenting about the drudgery of more rained out cricket matches, a constant stream of wet socks and miserable house-bound kids, washing that won't dry and boots and jackets that were (prematurely) packed away having to be hauled out again, we will miss out on the excitement of what is just around the corner. So stop moaning about the weather,  crank up Boney M, and start untangling those Christmas lights. I'm Just Saying...

Forgotten Rules

I remember sitting in my final assembly at high school, and hearing a poem about how to be successful in life. It was a simple poem, with simple advice. A poem I am sure most of us have heard before. It was written by Robert Fulghum, and was called All I really need to know I learned at Kindergarten. For some reason this poem, and its simple message, has stuck with me. That is not to say I personally have lived my life exactly to the credo it depicts, but I try.  Lately I have found myself questioning people (to myself, that is!). Questioning why some people do the things they do, say the things they say, hurt others so easily, forget the important things in life, forget how to act like a good friend, a good sibling, parent, spouse, basic human being. And no - this is NOT directed at anyone in particular. It is more a commentary from the peanut gallery. Again, I'm Just Saying - if the shoe fits, wear it - and I am the first to admit when it fits me! We all need reminding, sometimes, of these simple rules of life.

(I have saved the poem to a separate page at the top. It really is worth a read.) 

Lesson 1: Share everything

People don't share anymore. From recipes, to information, from time to friends. As I try to teach this lesson to my own kids (at 9 they are at this incredibly competitive age, and "its MINE" seems to be their immediate response to anything!), I often think how much easier it would be as adults if we remembered to share more. From "he can't be your friend, he's mine", to "no, those brownies are a family secret", and "I'm sorry, if I help you with that, then I have less time to do my own thing". What happened to Barney telling us sharing is caring? Sharing time, resources, friendships does not detract from our own quota. It enhances it. Before I get hit with a "be careful what you wish for", however, I have to point out that there are two areas in which we are more than happy to share - the giving of unsolicited-uninformed-ill timed-advice, and the sharing of gossip. Two areas where perhaps some restraint and circumspection should be maintained!

Lesson 2: Play Fair

Seems pretty self explanatory, yet for some reason, not so much! The order of the day seems to be take as much as you can from someone (be it time, money, effort, friendship, advice, support), and then sit back. At what point do we become suckers for always being on the giving side of the fair play line, and never the receiving?  Playing fair, in my book, is not simply tit for tat, but instead is having consideration for those around us, for those in our lives, for those who mean something to us. If you are going to take, be prepared to give.

Lesson 3: Don't hurt anyone (and if you do, say sorry, and don't do it again)

Again, so simple, yet so ignored! There are things we do in life, that hurt, and scar those around us. Speaking ill of people close to us and thinking they will never know, not standing up for those we love,  not being there when we say we will, breaking promises, repeating the same behavior and actions over and over, knowing the repercussions will be dire. Before our kids learn that this lesson extends beyond the don't-hit-your-brother-in-the-eye-with-a-wet-face-cloth, they need to learn that yes, sticks and stones DO break bones, but words hurt just as much. And before we begin to teach our kids this, we as adults, need to relearn  and start to practice what we preach.

Lesson 4: Live a Balanced Life

The shoe is fitting too well with this one! I have a tendency to become very overly focused on whatever I am doing at any given time, and the balance that is so important in life, goes right out the window! I need to keep reminding myself to ensure both sides of the scale are proportional at all times! I know I'm not alone in this! There is more to life than just work. Or just play. Or just one friend. Or just your spouse / boyfriend / girlfriend.  The more we focus on one area in isolation and to the detriment of all the others, the more chance we having of losing those other areas completely. And as we all know, it is far more difficult to recover what is lost, than to maintain what we have.

Lesson 5: Be aware of Wonder

Life spirals out of control at an alarming rate. Before we blink, the calm that was yesterday, is the mania of today. We blink and our kids grow up; we hesitate, and we lose opportunities; we run, and we miss the smell of the roses. I swear Christmas was only last week - yet here we are, singing to Boney M and trying to remember where we packed the tree lights.  This particular lesson is a big one for me right now. To remember that life is for living, for enjoying, for savoring. To enjoy the big moments, and to appreciate the small ones. Before we realize it, its all gone. And its too late.

Read the poem, remember the lessons, and instead of just nodding in agreement, practice what is surely a simple recipe for a successful life. Ever the nerd (;)), I plan on resuscitating these forgotten rules, and enforcing them in myself, and hopefully in my kids. There is something in them for everyone... I'm Just Saying...

Living Life Simply

Without denying the absolute need for technology (obsessed as I am with it!), life has become so fast paced, so driven by 2D, 3D and HD images, that as a mom I am scared we are forgetting about the simple, soul-enriching, memory-creating things in life.

My kids are (as are all, or at least most kids today), hooked on technology. They know more about my blackberry, my ipad, and Google, than I do. This fact alone scares me, as I am a self-confessed techno-slut! They play Wii, X-Box, and PlayStation as effortlessly as we used to play snap! or tag as kids. They don't need to read the instructions, or have the intricacies of the game explained to them. They just seem to innately know that pressing A makes the unbelievably life-like army dude run, B makes him shoot a machine gun, and C makes him launch grenades! Within minutes they have figured out the cheat codes on Moshi Monsters, have created new villages in Ice Age, have harvested new crops on Smurfs, and have completely killed my painstakingly cultivated high score in Temple Run. All without laborious instruction or tutoring!! As impressive as this sounds, and not withstanding the mental skills I am sure they have gained and fine tuned, I fear for my kids appreciation of the important, tangible things in life. 

Recently reality bit. And bit hard.  We went away with very close friends to Kamberg, and stayed at a beautiful, old-style farm. Barely any cell phone signal, a TV - but no DSTV card, so it remained off, no DS's, no Wii, X-Box or PlayStation. I held my breath the whole weekend, waiting for the inevitable "I'm bored" (which seems to have become my kids' shared middle name at the moment!). But it never came. Instead they played. They built puzzles, they explored, they canoed, they played cricket, swam, rode horses, rode bikes, and they laughed. Most surprisingly, they listened (a skill which seems to have become purposefully lost lately!). We bought them all fishing rods - simple, inexpensive fishing rods. And from day one, they fished. After the first fish had been caught, proving it could be done, we lost our kids to the edge of the dam. Hour after hour they sat together, patiently (who knew they had it in them!), and strategised how best to catch the evasive trout. And when they were successful, they were genuinely happy for each other. Instead of the way-too-early-morning wake-up to "mom, can we go watch TV?", we now had "Mom? Can dad untangle our reels, we want to go fish". What an absolute, heart-warming pleasure!

Before I come off sounding pious and judgemental, I need to say that this post is a commentary on myself as a parent first, not a blanket generalisation. However, if the shoe fits, if any bells are rung, listen and wear it. I'm Just Saying. Kids have far too many instant gratification options available to them. The TV fall back, the computer game baby sitter, the X-Box play date.. nonsense!! Lazy parenting breeds lazy kids. Even though I was hopeless at maths, even I can see the logic in this summation. I for one, am putting my foot firmly down, and will be attempting to stop the development of sloth-like natures in my kids, before I shell out any more money on OT for poor posture; before I get called in to the headmasters office to discuss the choice language of my 9 year old (I wait with bated breath for this one!); before I pay thousands to a therapist to tell me why my 9 year old is sullen and exhibiting Hannah Montana overly-theatrical-dramatic behaviour; or heaven forbid, pleading my child's case to the courts after a if-they-can-do-it-on-Grand-Theft-Auto-why-can't-I moment!

We have an "I'm Bored" jar now (thanks Pinterest!). If playing with the gazillion toys in their rooms, or reading the countless books on their bookshelves doesn't do it for them, my kids have to pick an activity - a mom-designed-sometimes-fun-sometimes-not activity - from this jar. Included in these activities are chores to be done. Not such fun! Suddenly my kids imaginations are being dusted off, their creativity is being stretched, and their playing-independently-muscles are being exercised. We talk more, we listen more, and life definitely seems less hyped up. What a win!!

I woke up this morning feeling really positive about life. The fact that Christmas is around the corner (my absolutely FAVORITE time of year!), and the prospect of a long summer holiday (with a two week road trip with very special friends), to look forward to, I plan on making living more simply work for me, my family and most importantly, my kids. If I have to become someone Hitler would be too afraid not to obey (I'm sure there's a little tyrannical dictator in all parents!), then I will gladly rise to the occasion! 

So its heavy restrictions on X-Box, limited TV time and only approved channels (banishing all back-chatting-parent-disrespecting-low-pants-wearing-teen-know-it-all channels), no more moshi monsters or plant killing zombies on the computer. Its bikes, books, friends, dirt, mud, Lego, puzzles, board games, crafts and imaginary play. From now on. Because I say so. Because my kids need it. Because we all need it. I'm Just Saying...

(Let's see how long this lasts!! I'm Just Saying...)