Sunday, 10 June 2012

Kiss and Tell

Should good girls kiss and tell?

I have been doing some intense research this weekend for a feature article in Cosmopolitan on a subject I have always blushed discussing... SEX. And not just sex, but on whether the bombardment of erotic literature and TV programmes into everyday life has changed the way women not only view, but enjoy, sex.

Let me state outright, that this topic pushed me to the limit of my comfort zone. I had to shake off all of my previous notions and trappings of what was or wasn't considered a "lady-like" discussion.

What surprised me more than my eagerness to tackle this topic, however, was the large number of ladies who were more than willing to share their stories with me. Clearly, "close your eyes, grit your teeth and do it for queen and country" was not the norm!! And the most verbal? Those girls who were no older than 21 or 22. Boy did they know their own minds, and boy were they eager to share and even offer advice!! This is certainly a head strong, independent, knowledgeable, open, and spoilt-for-choice-in-the-toys-and-gadgets-they-own-department, society of young women. Not only were they not shy with opinions and experience, but they were extremely comfortable discussing them. But I digress.

Should good girls kiss and tell? Topics that were once taboo, or at least spoken about in hushed tones behind closed doors, are now being bantered around not just book club discussions, but openly in all forums. Watching Game of Thrones, Californication, reading 50 Shades of Grey, the sex pages in Cosmo, has become as common place as watching CSI and reading Jodi Picult. Is this necessarily a bad thing?

We have always been told the that good girls don't discuss such topics, that only bad girls have an opinion on sex (in fact that only bad girls enjoy sex!). In MY opinion (and I'm Just Saying), views such as these are as ridiculous as the age old "children should be seen and not heard" . In doing my probing and asking of incredibly personal questions this weekend, I have formed the strong opinion that good girls not only DO kiss and tell, but SHOULD kiss and tell! How liberating! From car park gossip to book club babble, we as a, well, as a sex, have earned the right to openly read  50 Shades, as much as men have claimed the right to read Penthouse and Hustler (which they read purely for the stories I'm led to understand!).

Before I get painted with the proverbial Scarlet Letter, I will climb off my soapbox. As long as its safe, and sacred, and done with love, its about time us "good girls" became courageous in kissing and telling. I'm Just Saying...


  1. Great post as always Les. I agree that as long as it's safe and sacred and done with love... but the thing is, I wonder if all this open sharing amongst anyone who'll listen to their sexual antics, detracts from the sacredness. Nothing wrong with reading such material of course and wonderful on one hand that women have become "sexually liberated" although on the other hand, is all this erotic literature actually enslaving people in ways they don't realise? It certainly seems to be objectifying and enslaving young teenagers whose brains aren't even fully developed yet and who lack experience and understanding.

    No doubt you would have written a thought-provoking and thoroughly entertaining piece for Cosmo. Keep it coming Les.

  2. I just want to know what they all said to you. Oh, and I love your blog too.

  3. ahhahahah! loved your blog... but clearly i share dna with Roger.... i want to know what they all said to you too!! :-)

  4. Following through email in response to blogaholic post. I will enjoy your blog...nicely done. If you want to follow me, I am at
    thanks much!

  5. Amen to that! With regards to over-sharing... I don't see it as any different to any of the other things that people are open with these days.